Hungry Ghost
“Can I tell you something?” the sister of one of our regulars was drunk, and had just inserted herself unceremoniously into a conversation Paul and I were having about the unspoken visual language of comic books.
“Uhh, sure.”
“Yeah. All that? All that…talking? You’re thinking too hard. Just READ the BOOK.” I scrutinized her, then decided to dismiss her comments as those of the very drunk and unintentionally offensive. God knows I’ve done it a time or two. Or seven. “REALLY. I read that book. A few years ago. The book. You know…with the roach…and the asshole.” We kind of looked at her blankly for a few minutes, and finally Paul ventured in a small voice,
“Naked Lunch?”
“YES!”
“That book is hard,” I agreed.
“Uh, whatever. The point is, you don’t have to think so hard. They’re gonna make a movie.”
Now I was a little bristly. Deciding to put her in her place, I said, “Yeah, but this is what I DO. I’m a poet and I’m going to get an MFA in the fall.”
“Well, that’s stupid.” I snorted at her pronouncement. “REALLY! I was a poet. When I was sixteen. And it was all so dramatic! And everything happened to ME! And you know what? I’m a banker now. I’m a banker.”
“Okay, well I’m a poet.”
“Well, that’s stupid, like I said. Do you know that no one READS poetry? No one CARES what you have to say. What else do you do?” I looked at her blankly. “Do you do anything else? I mean, I know you’re a bartender.”
“I read. I take care of my pets. My friends. My family.” She was not buying it. “I’m a very smart girl,” I ventured, quietly.
“You are going to regret this choice. You are going to be on your death bed and you’re going to say ‘I shouldn’t have done that’, but it’s fine, because in ten years you’ll be a banker too. I was just like you.”
And then I turned to Abey and started a conversation about Rem Koolhaas, and later I drove home fuming. The end.
jskah said,
May 17, 2009 at 6:28 pm
++ And everything happened to ME!
oh god what a bitch!
christine said,
May 17, 2009 at 7:02 pm
but hahaha!!
unreliable narrator said,
May 17, 2009 at 7:34 pm
OMG teh dumb. But this is priceless: “The book. You know…with the roach…and the asshole.” And: “The point is, you don’t have to think so hard. They’re gonna make a movie.” Because everyone knows that (thank God) you don’t have to THINK at the movies.
Oh, and by the way, do you do anything else? Um, HELLO more clips than will ever fit on one page of a résumé! I wish I’d been there, I could have beaten her with my hardback Ralph Franklin edition of Dickinson until she wept and begged to be taken back to the bank vault from whence she somehow drunkenly emerged. Philistinic faux-financial-district slime mold. “A banker,” oh please. She meant a teller, I guess.
unreliable narrator said,
May 17, 2009 at 7:35 pm
PS but this may be last night’s procrastinatory re-read of The House of Mirth talkin’.
Kate said,
May 17, 2009 at 9:17 pm
What a shitty way to make herself feel better about her choices.
A. said,
May 18, 2009 at 5:20 am
You are a very smart girl, and anybody who says differently CAN SUCK IT. I’d have flattened her toes with the front of my chair.
immensee said,
May 18, 2009 at 10:17 am
no doubt, she held a deep appreciation for literature. & sculpting words was an important part of her identity. here is a early selection from her oeuvre, the banker as a young poet:
“Daddy”
Daddy, actually, I do
Have to myself express myself
Thru, Visa, MasterCard, American Express.
– Duh. –
Well, what if I did run
Up your platinum
Card — there’s no limit.
At the mall, it took me only like a minute.
And it serves you right!
You only got me a Toyota –
How will that cute rich boy
Care for me an iota…
…Or take me to parties
Where I pretend not to notice
When he pours
Vodka in2 my sodas?
Dadders, it’s totally time you know,
I’m only getting a
C minus in English.
Books. Boring. HELLo.
But, fear not!
I heart maths.
‘Cuz they remindeth me
Of pretty, ohhh sooo pretty cash.
You don’t believe, but sometimes
I feel I’m a lost girl, all on my own,
Until I hear the sweet siren of
My chirpy pink phone.
So don’t ground me.
Lecture me not, too —
In your heart of hearts, deep deep down, you know,
Daddy, Daddy, someday, I’ll be soooo richer than U!!!!!1!!!!!1!
immensee said,
May 18, 2009 at 2:59 pm
my inaccurate typing of the first stanza detracted from the quality of her masterpiece. might read better as:
“Daddy”
Daddy, actually, I do
Have to express myself
Thru Visa, MasterCard, American Express.
– Duh. –
Well, what if I did run
Up your platinum
Card — there’s no limit.
At the mall, it took me only like a minute.
And it serves you right!
You only got me a Toyota –
How will that cute rich boy
Care for me an iota…
…Or take me to parties
Where I pretend not to notice
When he pours
Vodka in2 my sodas?
Dadders, it’s totally time you know,
I’m only getting a
C minus in English.
Books. Boring. HELLo.
But, fear not!
I heart maths.
‘Cuz they remindeth me
Of pretty, ohhh sooo pretty cash.
You don’t believe, but sometimes
I feel I’m a lost girl, all on my own,
Until I hear the sweet siren of
My chirpy pink phone.
So don’t ground me.
Lecture me not, too —
In your heart of hearts, deep deep down, you know,
Daddy, Daddy, someday, I’ll be soooo richer than U!!!!!1!!!!!1!
jskah said,
May 18, 2009 at 7:22 pm
DADDERS
<3
anatomyofadress said,
May 18, 2009 at 8:03 pm
OMG immensee I have MISSED you.
hjartas said,
May 20, 2009 at 12:33 am
wait.
a banker (the kind that moves around money that may or may not be nonexistent and/or missing right now) was telling you that you made the wrong life choice?
hah! i think she was just projecting.