Sometimes you don’t move into it, sometimes it moves onto you.
…And even if it is associated with childhood, madness, stupidity, and failure, even if it shows not only how to get lost but also how it feels not to return, bewilderment has a high status in several mystical traditions.
When someone is incapable of telling you the truth, when there is no certain way to go, when you are caught in a double bind, bewilderment–which, because of its root meaning–will never lead you back to common sense, but will offer you a walk into a further wild place on “the threshold of love’s sanctuary which lies above that of reason”.
At certain points, wandering around lost produces the (perhaps false) impression that events approach you from ahead, that time is moving backwards onto you, that the whole scenario is operating in reverse from the way it is ordinarily perceived. You may have the impression that time is repeating with only slight variations, because here you are again!
Each movement forwards is actually a catching of what is coming at you, as if someone you are facing across a field has thrown a ball and stands watching you catch it. Watching and catching combine as a forward action that has come from ahead. All intention then is reversed into attention.
from The Wedding Dress, Fanny Howe
